i just found this in my screenshots folder and i have no idea where it’s from but i relate to it so hard.
MOMMA WILL GIVE ADVICE.
ALWAYS REMEMBER: MENSTRUATING DOES NOT MAKE YOU BAD. IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE SICK. IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE DIRTY.
First of all, do not go swimming in the ocean to look for Momma.
Momma will be right here.
Momma suggests that at first sign of blood, take tylenol. If you are super in tune with your body, take it when you estimate it will start soon!
Momma knows EXACTLY what to do for cramps. Eating cranberries or drinking their juice is a wonderful way to get rid of cramps.
Another way to help with the pain is to rest on your bed like in the picture, butt in the air and head on the ground.
Also, if you do not like pads OR tampons, there are more solutions!
They are very similar to one another. They are basically soft, silicone cups that go up into your lady cave that collect the blood.The softcup is a bit more expensive.
Also, Momma says that if you want to have sex and not have gushing everywhere, you can use a softcup!
The mooncup is a lot like the softcup, but it is reusable. Momma will remind you that you MUST disinfect it in boiling water.
You can even use natural sea sponge like a tampon!
Momma says it’s okay.
There are also cotton reusable pads!
Momma is also thinking of you men that have periods, too!
There is a special kind of boxers that you can buy with a special pocket for sanitary products! It also comes with a bulge.
The most important thing to do, menstruating or not, is to love and respect yourself. Do not feel ashamed, and get through it as well as you can!
Momma loves you!
Thank you momma.
I imagine Momma having a really typical haggard old smoker’s voiceMOMMA’S ON MY OWN DASH WHAT THE HECKLE
WAIT HOLD THE PHONE THERE ARE OPTIONS OUTSIDE OF PADS AND TAMPONS???
can i just say i love how momma includes trans men?? and thank you momma for the advice <3
I read that all in Momma Umbridge’s voice…
i’m tired of people saying lesbians hate men. that’s such bullshit. you don’t have to be a lesbian to hate men. everyone hates men
I have reached an amazing number of 3500 followers!
As a thank you, I will be hosting a $100 Victoria Secret eGiftCard Giveaway!
The Rules & Details
- Must be following me, Lotuslolita - a nymphet, DDLG, slightly nsfw, and kinky oriented blog that dabbles in vintage aesthetics and kawaii stuff. Understand that my blog has really unorthodox and to some, uncomfortable content before you decide to follow me for the giveaway.
- Reblogs with the original text and rules count only. If your number is chosen and it is a like that you used to book mark the post, it will not count.
- The winner will receive a $100 eGiftcard, so the winner must be open to sending me their email as soon as they win. They will have 48 hours to get back to me with their email and if they do not claim it, another winner will be chosen.
- This must reach a 1000 notes before a winner is randomly chosen.
- That being said, the giveaway will end on November 2nd, my birthday.
- Be open to either posing in the things you buy yourself, or pose the things you bought and post it on tumblr!
How do Victoria Secret eGiftcards work?
On my end, I go to the Victoria Secret website, enter credit card info and with the winner’s email, an email gets sent from VS. This VS email blatantly says “You Received an eGiftCard” in the subject. In the email, you a pic of the “giftcard,” the second image in this post, the amount of money in the giftcard, and a barcode with a pin number attached to the giftcard. The giftcard is redeemable to use both in store and online. I’ve had one gifted to me once and it was really easy to use c:
Anyway! Thanks again for all the support.
watch this irish man get tragically crushed by adorable sneezing baby seals
DO NOT WORRY, HUMAN, WE WILL KEEP YOU WARM UNTIL YOUR PARENTS RETURN FOR YOU. I HAVE CALLED FOR HELP.
Look at them! They’re basically flumpy water dogs!
Look how happy he is!
Man if this doesn’t warm your heart, dude…
I wish to know the happiness that this man is experiencing.
have you seen this dog
look at him
daily reminder to look at this dog. look at him